Behold! The mighty Sir Dorcan, honourable Knight of the Most Holy Order of the Tree Stump! Wielder of the legendary blade, The Cookie Cutter! Slayer of the terrible Demon-penguin from the Burning Wastes of Ice in the North! The one who single-handedly slew Vorn the Mildly Retarded and his ruthless army of unarmed orcs! He, who during a ferocious battle against the monstruous lich-rat lost his arm, but who, as if through a miracle, defeated the rat, and proceeded to scrape the remains off the underside of his boot while giving a modernately touching and relatively tragic speech!
Upon his back he carries the corpse of his girlfriend, an Ent, whom Sir Dorcan is intent upon rescurrecting after the horrible events of a night long ago, when the evil spirit that dwells within his blade, the Cookie Cutter, was set loose, and it cut everything it could get it's blade on... Sir Dorcan's girlfriend was the first thing it struck... her body was severed, and she was killed... Sir